It’s been a while since my first entry. And I can tell you that I have now come across my second fence. This one’s a doozie.
As you know from my previous candour, there are two sides to every fence we experience, and two truths. There are always two truths. No matter what fence you focus on, there are always two sides. That is the nature of fences…
Loss-
ie. the fact or process of losing something or someone. “forgetting, misplacing, forfeiture, end, expire, etc, etc…”
It’s a very strange thing; loss. We can lose anything or everything from tangible things to more abstract items. You lose a fight, you lose a piece of paper if it flies out of your hand and into the wind, you lose in touch with a close companion, or you lose yourself to music. Loss is often seen as a more negative connotation, but in actuality the loss of something can sometimes lead to something greater. Other times, loss just hurts like hell.
My contrary candour is this:
I have experienced both pain and gain from loss. I often find loss prevents me from doing a lot of things. The fear of loss prevents me. If I lose something or someone, my world could be shattered for sometime. But then again, if I lost someone or something, yes my world would be shattered but something or someone has come into my life that has made my life more whole. So, is the pain of loss worth it?
A while ago, I lost someone quite dear to me. I would consider him a good friend, advisor and wonderful correspondent that helped lighten up my December days. We lost touch due to circumstances that left us saying goodbye, and a couple of days ago, I found myself missing his conversation in my life. I’ve missed certain people’s company a few times over the years of their absence. Whether they’ve hurt me or not, there are always wonderful memories made that makes my time with them worth it. The loss happened for a reason. Either that season with that human being is over or simply you had a falling out and don’t feel quite up to mending the friendship. Ever. This recent loss was heartsore for me even though I didn’t know him for very long. However, I wouldn’t exchange the memories for anything.
The loss of someone or something, no matter how small or big can sometimes be a very painful thing. But…
Who are we to deny a good friendship/day/opportunity/etc for the sake of not experiencing pain? I never thought relationships were worth the pain they caused for a while. But as I’ve begun to find new relationships and find myself fearful for the pain that may inevitably come with them, I know there will be memories that will make it worth the pain.
It’s not a matter of No pain, No gain. It’s more that without pain, you wouldn’t value the good times as much. Without the loss, you wouldn’t value what you do have. Trust me. I may only be 18, but I know what I’m talking about.
Loss of relationships is probably one of the most heartsore things to experience from Loss itself, and there are many other kinds of loss which I will not delve into today. However, the fence behind Loss, is that it has its pains and gains to it, and you might be experiencing a pain right now, but know that there’s always something good that’ll come from this pain. Always.
So I guess you could say I’ve jumped the fence with this one and now think that loss is a good thing that often is thought to be a bad thing that often actually has bad things but that’ll lead to good things in the future. If that sentence makes any sense. And with my second entry into my Contrary Candour, I bid you adieu…
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